God’s House Rules for Relationships
Keeping Jesus at the Center of Relationships
Have you ever played a board game at someone's house and discovered they have their own special rules? Maybe it was Monopoly, Uno, or even a friendly game of cornhole. These "house rules" often develop to make the game run more smoothly or prevent conflicts. In much the same way, God has established His own house rules for relationships – not to restrict us, but to help us thrive in our connections with others.
“The quality of our lives is determined by the quality of our relationships. When we manage our relationships well, it gives us more hope, more joy, and more peace.”
-Bart Blair
When we accept Jesus into our lives, we're adopted into God's family. Like any loving parent, He provides guidelines for how we should interact with one another. These aren't rules that save us or earn God's love – we already have that through Jesus. Instead, they're principles for maintaining healthy relationships with God and others.
Picture throwing a rock into a pond. The impact creates ripples that spread outward in concentric circles. Similarly, when we put Jesus at the center of our lives, His influence ripples outward through all our relationships. Let's explore what God's house rules look like in three key relationships: children and parents, fathers and children, and employers and employees.
Children and Parents: Honor That Brings Blessing
The apostle Paul writes in Colossians 3:20, "Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord." This instruction echoes the fifth commandment, which comes with a promise: those who honor their parents will live a blessed life.
In ancient Hebrew culture, this "blessed life" wasn't necessarily about living many years. Rather, it meant living a life full of meaning – experiencing God's blessings and spreading hope, happiness, and joy to others. When children submit to their parents' authority and follow their guidance, they're more likely to grow into wise adults who make good choices.
However, this doesn't mean blind obedience, especially as we grow older. While young children are called to obey, adult children transition from obedience to honor. We may disagree with our parents' choices or lifestyle, but we're still called to show them respect. This doesn't mean celebrating or supporting immoral or unethical behavior, but it does mean finding appropriate ways to honor them as our parents.
Fathers and Children: Leading with Grace
Paul then addresses fathers specifically: "Fathers, do not exasperate your children so that they won't become discouraged" (Colossians 3:21). As parents, we're called to set boundaries and guidelines, which might occasionally frustrate our children. However, Paul is speaking about something deeper – the heart of parenting.
Our role as parents is to shepherd our children toward their full potential, helping them discover who God created them to be. This involves:
Nurturing their God-given talents
Being careful not to be overly critical
Leading them as our Heavenly Father leads us
To do this effectively, we must "put on" certain characteristics:
Compassion
Kindness
Humility
Gentleness
Patience
None of these traits come naturally to us – we must consciously choose to demonstrate them in our interactions with our children, whether they're young or grown.
Employers and Employees: Working as Unto the Lord
Finally, Paul addresses workplace relationships. While his original text speaks about masters and slaves in the context of first-century Roman culture, the principles apply perfectly to modern employer-employee relationships.
For employees, Paul provides this powerful guidance: "Whatever you do, do it from the heart as something done for the Lord and not for people" (Colossians 3:23). Consider this: the average person spends about 90,000 hours – roughly 22-24% of their life – at work. This makes our workplace one of our primary mission fields.
How do we represent Jesus well at work? Not through obvious religious displays, but through:
Excellent work ethic
Meeting deadlines
Respecting leadership
Being a positive team member
Demonstrating compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience
For employers, the message is equally clear: treat your workers the way you would want to be treated. This means:
Setting reasonable expectations
Providing fair compensation
Creating a positive work environment
Leading with the same characteristics we expect from employees
Keeping Jesus at the Center of Relationships
The key to all these relationships is maintaining Jesus as the central focus. When conflicts arise in our relationships, it's often because we've shifted from having Jesus at the center to putting ourselves there. The good news is that we can always reorient ourselves back to Him.
Remember: humility is the greatest commodity in God's economy. If you want to be rich in your relationship with God and others, cultivate humility. It's impossible to manage relationships well – whether at home, work, or in the world – without a humble heart.
These house rules aren't restrictive limitations but rather a manufacturer's handbook for relationships. God created us, and He knows what makes our relationships work best. While we'll sometimes fail and find ourselves becoming selfish, humility allows us to return to center and realign our relationships with Jesus as the foundation.
When we keep God at the center and follow His house rules, our relationships become channels through which His love, grace, and truth can flow to others. The quality of our lives is often determined by the quality of our relationships. By following God's design for these connections, we can experience the hope, joy, and peace that come from healthy, Christ-centered relationships.