5 Steps To Talk To Children About Death
My wife and I were recently watching a television medical drama. In the show a character died, leaving behind a pre-school aged child. One of the closing scenes of the show was the father of the child trying to explain to his son why the mommy would not be able to come see him. It was a gut-wrenching scene, made all the more difficult by the fact that the father was completely ill-equipped to explain death to his son.
What parent is ever fully equipped for that kind of conversation. I would imagine it being one of the most difficult things to navigate as a parent; explaining the death of a loved one to a child. I can also that over the past few years, since the onset of the COVID-19 pandemic, there has been an increase in the necessity of these kinds of discussions.
Talking to a child about death is a complicated responsibility.
If you or someone you know is in a situation that requires having a conversation with a child about death and the loss of a loved one, I hope these few guiding tips will be helpful for you.
Begin by explaining the concept of death in a gentle and age-appropriate manner. Use Bible verses such as John 11:25-26, which reads, "Jesus said to her, 'I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even though they die; and whoever lives by believing in me will never die.' " to convey the idea of eternal life.
Use biblical stories to help children understand death. For example, the story of Lazarus in John 11 can be used to explain that death is not the end, and that there is hope in the resurrection.
Encourage children to express their feelings about death and to ask questions. Remind them that it is normal to have questions and that it is important to talk about their feelings. Use verses such as Psalm 34:18, "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." to remind them that God understands and cares about their emotions.
Provide a sense of comfort and reassurance. Remind children that death is a natural part of life, and that God has a plan for everything. Use verses such as Isaiah 41:10, "So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." to provide a sense of peace and security.
Encourage children to remember their loved one and to keep their memory alive through prayer and memorials. Remind them that their loved one is in a better place and that they will see them again in heaven. Use verses such as Revelation 21:4, "He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away." to give them hope for the future.
As you help your child understand the cause and consequences of death, it may be helpful for you to reach out to a counselor or therapist who specializes in working with children. Contact your family doctor or your child’s school to inquire about referrals to a qualified professional.